The Spoon Theory

When I first became sick I was struggling with my degenerative state. It took so much out of me just to get dressed to go out. I was speaking to one of my favorite nurses, who is now a family friend, about my concerns. She told me about something called the “Spoon Theory”. I am sharing a link where you can read it for yourself and print as many copies as you need. After I read this and gave copies to all of my family and friends a very large weight was removed from my shoulders. I was feeling so bad about not being able to be who I was due to being worn out so quickly. Once the people I cared about understood they began to treat me a little differently and were very understanding when I couldn’t participate in everything.
Here is the link and I hope that you find it helpful:


It’s so funny that you just posted about The Spoon Theory I just read about it the other day it was from a woman’s point of view telling her friend about how she applied this to her own life due to her own sickness so her friend would understand how some people live day by day on a limited amount of spoons It’s very hard to live like this wondering what task is more important for me today and will I have enough to get through my day I am so happy you that you posted this so maybe someone else might understand what we go through day by day thank🙂


I have used this for years and have taught my daughter to use it because we both are over achievers that pay for it later. The worst part for me when I was still working was I used all my spoons at work and had nothing left for my family. Now that I am on disability I can space out my spoons better and my family gets more time. My husband is really good at helping me space out my spoons, especially when I need to help my parents or we go away for vacation. He will help with my parents as much as he can so I have extra spoons left over to enjoy my grandsons!! When we are on vacations, he pulls me as close to the door as possible so i can enjoy more. Lately, he has even been renting a scooter when we are at places that have a lot of walking so I can enjoy more for a longer time. All this because he finally understood after I explained the spoon theory! It truly does help!!


Thank you for sharing the “Spoon Theory” as I had never heard it before. Silly me, I just thought that after people learned I had multiple myeloma and amyloidosis, an incurable disease, they would automatically know I was sick and begin treating me with compassion.

And then after hearing my story, they would care for me and help me. After all, these are my family and friends who loved me, right? But sadly, that didn’t happen. Oh yeah, they sent messages and I mistakenly took it for concern only to later realize it was really out of curiosity.

If I had known about this analogy of comparing my symptoms and illness with a finite number of spoons, I would have just sent it to them and perhaps maybe, just maybe, they would have understood a little more of what I go through on a daily basis.

Being really really sick is hard. The disease is hard, the symptoms are hard, the strength it takes to make it to doctors appointments is hard, everything is hard!

People should be more caring and compassionate around sick people who are going through a tough time.
And if it takes a story about spoons to get them there, well then, I guess I see some more story telling in my future.

I wish you all the best,



I have heard the Spoon Theory before, and I love it, because it is such an easy way to explain to people that I have a disability, and a new way of doing things, and now Everything takes more spoons than it used to, so I am exhausted early in the day, and need a nap, and then I will be exhausted early in the evening and need to go to sleep. Too many things to do, and not nearly enough spoons!

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In Fibromyalgia groups, it is quite known. We shared it. I tried to explain in my immediate family, but my guys dismissed it.
Only my ex-husband is cherished.

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I am so very sorry to hear that. We so often hear that blood is thicker than water. What I believe is that the family you choose is often better than the family you were born into. I truly don’t like feeling that way but it is so often proven true.

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