I’m 43. Set in my ways. Hate doctors and needles. Yesterday at work, I passed out and a coworker caught me before I fell to the ground. The nurse sent me home to take my blood pressure medicine that I haven’t been taking for a week. Well, got home and about passed out again. Was worried so I took myself to the e.r. my blood pressure was really high and kept climbing. I sat there for 5 hours and 3 different medicines were used to lower it. None worked. I told them I wanted to go home and they advised that with my pressure being so high, I could possibly have a heart attack, at one, or organs could shut down. But being me, I signed a paper and left. Didn’t go home. Drive around bawling like a baby cuz I wanted something to happen to me. I wanted life to end. But after a while I drove back to the hospital with the intentions to go back and get help. But, after I talked to my son, I went home, ate, took my meds, and fell asleep watching a movie. Before that, I prayed that I’d wake up today. And sure enough, God gave me another day, another chance to change my life around. Just thought I’d share that with you all. I’m blessed and going to pray and live each day like it’s my last. And I’m grateful that I have awesome people in my life. Have a blessed day everyone. Thank you for listening and being alive to share life with me.😁


Been there myself, wanted to die for over a 10 year spread. Finally started talking with a therapist rather than relying on meds to fix me and wow that was when things started changing about how I felt about myself. Hopefully this will be something that you can use or take a piece of it for yourself. I still believe though that someone who really understands what death is and still thinks that it is preferable to the pain they are dealing with at this point should have the right to choose to end their existence on their own terms. But this is a different discussion than what you started, I hope that you’re able to find someone who you can trust and talk your feelings out.



Thanks, man. Actually last night’s episode opened my eyes. I tried to kill myself twice in March, Cruz I didn’t really understand what life was really about. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted everyone to be rid of me. But last night, when I really thought about having a heart attack or stroke, and with all my friends reaching out to me,and kids who would be devastated, I realized that I have so much to be grateful for and that I’m loved. People actually care about me, even when i don’t care about me. And I’m going to get better so I can be loved longer.😁It’s a great feeling and I don’t want to let anyone down ever, I’m going to take my meds regularly, go to doctors appointments when scheduled, so my therapy sessions, and work my butt off so I can enjoy life with my kids, and work on getting healthier. But, off to relax. Have a great night.


Thank you for sharing Rysn. You have found and received God Blessing. I pray you continue on this past. Just remember that sometimes it will be differcult for the
saten will try and confuse you and whatever he can to cause you to go bsckwards. Regardless of any situation you are in God will bring you out. Just trust in him .I pray that you will have the strength and guidance
That you need. Have a Bless Day my friend.


Please don’t drive around ever again in that shape. How would you feel if you caused a wreck and killed someone else or yourself. I mean you passed out twice and then got in a car to drive around. Please take care of yourself because God loves you.

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Dear Sweet Stubborn Ryan, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so glad that things turned out well for you. I pray that they only get better. I’ve been in your shoes before & that, my friend, is a scary place to be.
All i can say is YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
Most people see “stubborness” as such a negative word or as such a negative character flaw. I’m LIVING PROOF that it’s not. I have always been very stubborn and I have always been very determined. After i graduated from high school, i was in a near fatal mva where basically i was the human version of humpty dumpty. From my many, many injuries was a severely injured spinal cord that left me paralyzed from the waist down. During the time i was at Physical Rehab Hospital, My nurses, PT, OT, etc… They were blown away with how determined i was with the way i took my therapies to heart. I wasn’t necessarily wheeling around with this attitude like, “i’m going to walk again.” I’ve just always been a determined person and whenever i commited to something, i would put my all into it. I’m that same way with my stubborness. Interesting enough a few of the staff saw the similarities & decided to call me “Stubbornly-Determined.” It’s pretty much described how i have overcome a lot since then. Several years later i did end up walking… scientifically, i should not be able to.
There’s a huge difference in not wanting to do something bcuz you’re just stubborn. Most of the times, people don’t realize that there is so much more to it than that. It’s important that you always keep that in mind so that when you have to make tough decisions, you’re not stuck in a place, beating yourself up, trying to figure out what to do and hurting yourself in the process when that’s not what you’re trying to accomplish either. The mind can be powerful in that it can help and it can play tricks. SO FEEL GOOD about being on the other end of your decision. Celebrate! Reward yourself! You had a DIFFICULT DECISION to make and you got thru it! I just wanted you to hear and be aware of how important that is.
Take Care, From Your New Stubborn Friend, Margo


Im glad you’re talking to someone(therapy) really helps me alot. Fighting through pain takes a toll on you not just PHYSICALLY but MENTALLY!! I wish you Peace and Blessings 🙏 ☝

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God bless you! I’m glad a temporary setback didn’t cost your life! Haven’t read other posts, so this has probably been suggested, but iron, thyroid, and B12 levels can help push you to this point. Doctors keep them too low, sometimes. I have hard-won experiences with that. Make sure you have a thorough doctor who will listen to you when you show him research. Then do your homework!
That and a great therapist with knowledge of medicine has really helped me. Best to you.

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Margo, I am determined, too. But growing up as the only non-control -freak in a family of them wore me down and I became a little too ready to accept authority sometimes. At least I was determined to work hard and get out on my own where I could be myself! I am very determined when it comes to my health and do my research. The I doggedly put it it out to my doctors until they see I mean business and I know what I am talking about. You. I’ve pushed them into seeing my point and I insist they do as I ask. That’s how I got tested for seizures after two wrecks were blown off, pushed until several other issues were found and treated for myself and my child, and did the same for hubby and another family member. I dumped the provider who thought she knew better than my child after running a test. This doc also had a teen daughter, and pulled my daughter aside to accuse her of making things up. Daughter had to leave a full-scholarship (academic) highly respected private school where she’d been since kindergarten because she missed too many days, despite keeping her A average. I objected and demanded another, different test. Turned out a duct in digestive system was 90- some percent block and spasms were causing lots of the issues. She also has IBS. After my tests showed she was telling the truth and needed surgery and treatment, we all dumped that doc for one who listens. Ducts were cleared, organ removed, etc.

I home-schooled her, she tested great and got scholarships to private college and law school, and I am not interested in seeing that doc ever again.

Thank you, Wayne.

Smiling, I promise I will never drive around like that again. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt another person because I want thinking. I’m trying to take care of myself. Taking my meds, cutting back on the junk. I want to see my kids graduate and have kids off their own. So, I have people who are watching over me.

Thank you, Angel. Thank you for sharing with me. Glad your back on your feet. 😁 I think I’m going to reward myself. A night of work and of to the movies. By myself, bit it’s cheaper that way.😆

It does, Pinklady. I fight everyday through this emotional crap and that causes physical pain. But, I got great family and friends on my side so that helps a great deal.

Thank you, Holly. Yeah, my doc only sees me through Skype. I know, Bs. And that’s a 10 minute visit. Haven’t had my depakote levels checked since last year. But this is the only place nearby that deals with mental health. But, I do have a new therapist and she’s working on finding me a new doctor.


Ryan, let us know when you get a new doc so we can celebrate with you! So very happy you’re with a good therapist! Is she affiliated with a good psychiatrist? Mine is, so it comforts me that he looks after my medications and their interactions. He’s a great source for my therapist and me when it comes to considering other docs for primary care and specialist services. It’s good to have professionals who are involved in the medical community and know each other.