Thank u so much your reply, honestly didnt know if my post would just be overlooked like most do in my everyday life so thank u, and absolutely yes,a friend last month finally offered us for me to borrow his shower chair so I could tryin do it on my own because I haven’t been able to take an independent shower without help from my husband for about 4 or so yrs. And I cry every time because I feel so ugly as he washes me at a pace exactly as I had experienced when I was briefly placed in a nursing home for 24 hr monitored IV med care treatment of a nasty surgical induced staph infection buried deep in my spine leading to my brain. And I would feel like an “onject” not to mention a burden to him. Using chair,its there so no excuse that I gotta stand,ya know,.at first I felt like a free bird!! As times going by,.its just a matter of the whole “shower thing”,dont get me wrong,.and I haven’t mentioned to my husband,but having to stand up to rinse completely off n maneuver my body around for complete wash,u know,cuz I have to wash my bum too lol,but my legs,back,lower half of body extremities a very much in pain,.then the process of afterwards, I like to air dry, and I’m easily short of breath with asthma along with worsening hypertension I have to take my time, so in all,.a simple “showerup” adds up to anywhere from 2 to 4 hrs… my dr and I recently have been exploring ideas and I’m trying in home health care with physical therapy,occupational therapy, and check in vitals and temp,ect nurse come to my hm now. This was my 2nd week. I’m absolutely burned out already because there’s always everyday at least 1 of’m comin to work me over…and I’ve notice in this short time,its beginning to five me a bit of a boost in my confidence rather than same household ppl here most times act as tho I’m just too much if by chance my lupus flares and I nd physical help getting to n from, or they’re having to get me my correct meds when due,say pm,.cuz I’m too wk to so it.its nothing but nagging that I need to hurry up and get better cuz they dont like playing with other ppls meds like that,or on and on,so my self esteem n self confidence, independence had been in the dirt building up these past cpl yrs now,and I’ve adopted a saying…yes I’ve been here and I know that I’m still livin,but that doesn’t mean I’m ALIVE! AND due to a recent ER visit cpl days ago suffering a near stroke,I wanna be alive,I have brand new beautiful grandbabies that love me unconditionally,and need me,and these xtra ppl aren’t going to get their way by just pushing this nana to the side only coming when they need,you know? These gbabies love me,laugh with me,dont care if nana accidentally tooted,lol…they’ve givin me an entirely new motivation I never thought I could have again… But these providers coming in my home someone different each time is kinda nerve wracking, but even by them being professionals doing their jobs,taking care of ME,I’m not used to that,I’m always the provider, so this is new to me others actually being non judgmental and out for my beat interest, in my home pushing me to become stronger in every way and show me how to take back control of my life and not let my ILLNESSES or surroundings “DEFINE ME”… I hope that’s how everything works out,if well see🙏
you’re not alone, love.
Yes … do not let " it " define you . If you are not comfortable reaching out through social media, try My Language Exchange. You can find a good old fashioned pen pal . It’s very nice . And expands your world and theirs
Hi Samantha, you are not alone. I have gone as long as a month without showering. I can’t imagine doing that. As spring is progressing, I have been doing yard work with my grandson’s. I can not stand to be sweating, wet and nasty. When I come in I will go straight to the shower to get clean. Another good point is I have dropped 15 lbs. During the winter I just laid around and gained weight.
Trust me,ur absolutely not alone…I’ve embarrased me from my own self before!! No joke! But it’s not like I’m out rollin in the mud daily with the dogs either, not to mention another factor being the seasons,idk about you but I’m not just hangin out sweating perfusly in the scorching sun,103 degree weather n humidity at %100!! I have underlying issues as well,.we all have our reasons, 1 of mine is I suffer with Lupus along with very many other diagnoses affecting me internally, as well as they time,having many of those factors, along with surroundings, have a huge impact on mental illness,and emotional distress… and however in this universe just so happens that all of the factors together for some out of the blu odd reason,simply (as the ‘norm’ call it),but,that 1 thing ‘simply’ taking that shower,working self up to witever its gonna take,along with each owns personal factors at play,becomes one of the absolutely hardest things most,nearly all MY times,have on my unwritten rules of life being ya just DO,.that I can hardly get past processing it without sm stress having to make an entire event of it,just the THOUGHTS of gettin it goin step by step start to overwhelm me n ALWAYS my anxiety Disorder decides to take over n n not always but most,not even trying I start getting super stressed out thoughts of any n all bad things n reasons its jus not a good idea rn cuz its absolutely like a chore when there’s other factors that come into play,and an exhausting one at that,in my case suffering from chronic severe pain,fibromyalgia, nad hips,back surgery 4x’s that were the furthest from successful as could even be the truth of what they e done to my entire nervous system could be told by the surgical team,dr’s, nurse’s, staff,and moreso these hosp workers involved in the multiple,consistent,backfiring, fatally infectious spread of surgical caused bacteria, staph,MRSA that’s spreading throughout entire body, not only that but where they’ve gone into my spine,and yes tru strory,knicking ever slightly opening my spinal cord and with the infection itself engulfing takin over my entire spinal system, they couldnt even see what they had done before closing back up that a brand new life threatening could be disaster was building up then the leakage of fluid spread throughout the area at the same time it’s coming from bottom of cord leaking out with no “return” fluid back to the brain that’s in charge of exactly how much fluid it nds to consistently make that’s “normal”,w/in 24 hrs,the entire bottoms of my back was nearly the size of a beach ball n they’d already sent me hm,.now remember, brains “making spinal fluod”,.and with ot pumping the amount OUTof nervous system dwn they spinal cord just for that fluid to reach that opened cut to drain out of so therefore not returning ANY spinal fluid back to be “recycled” persay,triggers everything off brain goes into overdrive making wutevr the new never used receptors push out the maximum amount of spinal fluid it could possibly make…approx 18hrs later after a very extremely painful,night of thinking ro myself ,cuz I’m feeling it too,but my mind just wasn’t rt,oddly explainable never experienced or heard of weird ig migraine typa headache was coming on,but the pain itself would move around my head when “i” would move or role it around,I go slowly head on rt shoulder lift move n lay on other,the cluster of pain moved…others thought I was trippin off the meds, even tho I showed my back looking like a bloated whale,everyone went to bed,I was in too much pain,then approx 230am I’m sitting up on the side edge of bed KING size…I begin to feel a huge pressure as tho like when I had my kids,only,it was my back!! Suddenly the pain hit a max,I felt my skin beginning to tear the there was a loud “BOOOM"Like a huge beach ball being popped as I was screaming in pain at the exact time!! Finally after so many he’s of breathtaking pain I could take a breath,then my husband starts screaming jumping up outta the bed clear way from the far side of a California King and thought I had somehow urinated all over him as well as the walls were dripping!!! My back had completely exploded and torn wide open!! We didnt even realize it until I got up to leave the rm and he could see thick fluid with infection messes fall and steady flowing from my lower back. He rushed me n sat me with towels on the couch as we called emergency number for my surgical team on call,a nurse rushed over,by that time things changed,I couldn’t sit upright or my head would pound and I’d immediately pass out,she bent me over and dr was.on her phone,then I could feel her reaching n scooping her hand deep into the open hole it exploded at to pull out as much clotted blood and mounds of nothing but spinal fluid vastly flowing n mounds of what seemed to be never ending handfuls of hardened infection, once she emptied it at best ambulance rushed me in,took me to wrong hospital!! Had to put me in different truck just to travel 1 and half hours to hospital needed 4 me…I was wide awake and talkin the entire time,now mind u,when I sit up I drop limp passed out,we reach hosp,.EMT thought she’d be real smart making it easy for her putting me from the gernie by making me get outta that bed and walk over to get in hosp bed,. I warned and reminded her I’m fine laying flat, the pooled spinal fluid was ok that way,but head upright pooled mass mounts of the fluid throughout the entire brain as tho my brain would be literally drowning! Ahe thought it was a joke so between the times at home,and 1st hosp I had already passed out countless times so it was like standing up just to take a nap to me,lol,so I wasnt gonna argue,I got up tryna take it alow,she pulls my rt arm sleeve making me quikly stand n I remember I smiled and told her goodnight🤣 Next I kno it’s the next day,in my own hosp rm,carefully positioned layering on my right side facing all of the equipment, with a buncha different tubes coming outta my lower back in different areas,most directly spine,each had fluid comin from them at different amounts, and tubes came up over n around bed emptying out into what I would 1st thought away a typ’a clear abt 8 inch long triangle edged tube/beaker like a bird feeder would have…was told I had to lay like that for at least the nxt 7 daysso get comfortable and I could help them out keeping an eye on that tube,once nearly full and level with # givin,call the nurse for her to come change,chart,empty,replace and continue…had good idea but had to hear it,.so…” what are all of the plastic tubes hoses whatever doing in my back like I got sm tails or sm,lol…and what is that? Is that the rest of the infection being removed? I was told"Nope. Well,this one,that,this,blah blah tube back here is placed in this and that area most impacted by the extremely large amounts of the cross between your own spinal fluid being overly processed by brain compensating for what is clearly registering back as not there,so dumping out enough for close to 4,5ppl easy.they had already done emergency surgery on me,physically cleaned out spine as far as could reach up high goin down even below incision reaching large pockets throughout hips and upper half of butt reaching inside close to areas surrounding tailbone in which learned after being broken has reattached parts nded to while rest was left to float during healing process, and as it decided to pick place to stay,.tailbone,or “Cochise”,which I’m payin for,supposed to be coming from bottom of spine itselfthenglides downwards as it goes BEwill slightly have a curve toward back,curving slightly back inward facing from ending with bottom tip facing downward with a lilcurve at end…noooo,.cant get lucky,I see MY picks n Mine attached to bottom of spine,with a little amount as it goes downward facing,with absolutely “slightly” nothin it came to the curving a lil in,just a hair,then sharp curve going facing backwards,but instead of a slickly rounded curve slightly outward then curve as goin dow ultimately mostly gains somewhat off down position,NOOO!! No MINat the 1st “curve” facing back,just keeps poling backwards!!! As it narrowing to the end decides it’ll give a downward curvature😫🤣 Ok Ok Ok…lol,I know I’ve already lost my way by getting deeper into detail than needed and you probably think I’m some crazy woman that just randomly seeks out ppl and go on babbling,lol…you know just thinkin bout it,it was and still sticks out to be ultimately within that 2mo span of 4 surgeries,mostly to cover up and fixing something gotten out of control and quickly spiraled with cardiac arrest twice during procedures,to ultimately having to get a signed court order by judge with all physician,nurse,caregiver ect signed included the came to my home late evening just before my PM IV dose with a team of drs on these nurses and staff phones demanding I go stay in a nursing home for critical care 24hr emergency care at my door,getting frisky with me heading towards door sayin we nd to hurry,not telling me as to not one single pinpoint solitary reason this was happening and behaving as though “I” did something wrong like a criminal or something!! Mind u,I had my 3 young daughters sleeping upstairs with school in morn. They told my (now husband),but then had only been barely dating a Cpl mo,on the side with smone directly firmly filling him in ultimately TELLING him he “Gonna” look after them for as long as it takes to fix me,.wait what!? Yeah! The most recent test dr had on me was 1 day b4 took plenty bloodwork making sure all of my everything was leveling out safely,cell counts, vitamin levels,all…as they were in the process of initially taking me with them they were makin a point they HAD to hook up to my “pikline” in my arm used for treatment and get a nice “PULL of BACKFLOW”, I’m just out of it,feeling fine not wanting to leave my home or babies especially out of my control! SO! about 10pm hit…we reach facility, and there were nurses set up already at one of the nice sitting areas outside,. I’m feelin like’m in a dream,cant be real!! Not sure if u know about a pic line but they thread a line like fishing wite kinda through the beginning place,where they start iv and where u hookup when needed,soit goes thru a main artery threaded (with me anyway) goin directly to my heart.Up they rt arm,front of shoulder pain somehow they an ultrasound cam guiding him the its done,.so I tell u this 4 a reason… my treatments for however extreme and dangerous the infection and apparently the induced MRSA I had contracted was feasting and growing at an extremely nearly gotten out of the drs control uncommon growing ,spreading and targeting life threatening organs like apparently they’d never seen b4,.so I had a quick sec moment a silence as a "Duhh dumb asses!!! So you NOT recall this big ELEPHANT in the beginning everyone had to be on board knowing IM A RISK FOR INFECTIONS!! COMPROMISED IMMUNE SYSTEM ANYONE,HELLO😤 Somehow didnt pass that note on to a member or two in which in turn,a signed agreement between my fam dr,Head boss surgeon,and anyone that possibly be involved in my after care brings I’m a risk,and yes,included his lil step dwn deom him that helps take notes, sits in on his visits with patients, filling in but by all.means is far from ever bein in surgery without “bossman”,kinda fills in for morning rounds for inpatient typ’a work…"Apark that started the 1st day of the rest of my life living with an earth shattering lifelong disability that will effect lives of many,and take from me an independent,self sufficient,strong,humble,happy,saving up for the day to come to take my girls to disney,ect,without even had takin too long because I pushed hard as far as working and not ever depending on NO one EVER again to make our dreams happen,pay Bill’s so on…SO!!Last Day my body could’ve been saved from lions,only I trusted it in the hands of someone else the monster tryed to imitate when it came to his AUTHORITY status…MARCH 10,2010…Early mornin n ready for the world! As discussed with “Proper Physician”,a simple in n out process, as an extra careful reassurance to heal properly without complication,stretched out his neck to pre approve a high risk 7 day min stay. Everything goes as plan,no more issues🙌 (Watch what’s 2 gd 2 b tru)…as even as im being wheeled back to surgery I’m so excited to finally have this fixed,get back 2 wrk,no more limitations,I’ll be FREE😁 Later I wake up in pain joined by my oldest girl,.we’d already settled in for the wk coming.Waking in intense pain many throughout, I still had no worries,eventually upping my pain med thru IV noticed cuz I was more like in a wake up dreamlike state… I seemed like just blinked and its extremely early in the morning and as expected they do,drs do rounds…awoken suddenly to an unfamiliar voice that’s firm,not gentle like MY dr at all so I’m shaking it off ,what’s goin on?? He’s got 2 nurses with him,not 1 even mine,speaking in foreign med terms making no sense,.leading on to tell me I’m being discharged at 9am n no later than noon,I did good thru the night,vitals goods no worries and I need to schedule my follow up no later than in 7 days,goodbye…OHH NOOO BUDDY U HOLD UP I MEAN "RIGHT N AS IN NOW,DOC,doin my best to stay as calm n respectful as possible, I told him I needed to know for myself why does he lk familiar, where is MY dr at because he’s the ONLY one under circumstances that can give the ok I’m 100percent with no doubts BECAUSE I’m at risk,for infection for sure,n to be closely monitored all wk,.he told me he has no idea where I could’ve come up with that and I must’ve been just under a misunderstandings altogether,today happens to be doca day off,thus,reason for him being there,and I told him I’m not leaving until I hear it from mine,we have a signed treatment plan,.dude stills says he’s never heard of anything like that before,.but,.for this typa surgery it’s a monitored 24 hour hospital stay,and as long as there’s no issues throughout the night patient OS free to leave earliest 9am to make sure all pprwrk done and call office within nxt cpl days for follow up…not too many r happy with it but it had everything to do with changes in insurance and Obamacare,budgetcuts,and horseshit!! I was also to be put on antibiotic immediately as a precaution to help avoid possible infections… we argued,I wasnt leavin,then if I wasnt out by noon I was trespassing n to b areested…so just go home and rest,callback in morning to get earliest appt.and everything will be explained to me more clearly at that time,so bye bye…And he left as he told my nurse to make sure I get a good dose of a pain reliever by IV b4 takin out just prior to my way home,pitta town…so I suckednit up got my stuff together, nurse came in with ppwrk and something 4 pain to give b4 taking out IV…to this day dont kno wut,it wasnt same as they had been given,cuz before she was even done putting it all in I felt like I was gonna hit the floor!! Apparently she steared my friend picking up she needed to go get my pain meds 1st it would just ne easier,witever…anyway.I couldnt function, still cant remember, lol blotches like pics then waking up at home 2 days later extremely confused. Didnt have any aftercare directions, no #'s,in excruciating pain because I hadn’t taken anything the whole time. All I knew was my shirt was glued to my back n tryina peel it off the FRESH INFECTED BLOODY STITCHES TORN,EXTREMELY STOLEN SMALL OF MY BACK BEIN THE #1 VANT REACH N I HAVENT BEEN SENT HOME WITH A DAMN THING!!! My husband now,newly dating at the time, carefully peeled it off and for wutevr wasn’t already split opennearly all the rest of stitches just peeled off rt along with the extra seemed to be thickness of layers of skin meat wutevr was jus so easily falling from my back,.I was freezing,n he told me it was hot as a mess,took temp,nearly 105,my head was pounding,my back was persistently leaking from a reopened incision of at least 4inch long,convenientlystaring at my buttcrack but when sewed up ot was extremely sloppy,it stunk like someone had died,rotten meat…I pull it together best o could bein the pain I’m in,I’m dizzy,ect…called hospital, got theu to my actual DR suit office after being transferred to er,told them,got him right away…I gave him a short as possible rundown of wut his lil apparently "student " had said, tone of voice,way he was dressed bit dwn with unnecessary buttons open,refusing me the antibiotics we’d previously discussed, and still demandindi leave even after learning of the risks,2nd guessing without even TRYING to page,call doc or anything for a quick consult,.furthermore as he felt was his fault,to me outta anything the condition I was bein discharged being high risk,not to mention the 24hr Law,wasn’t even in effect,they weren’t done with me with rm admittance time beginning when patients make it thru the procedure…told me I should’ve turned rt back around marched into ER,being’s they’d givin me such a high dose of he didnt even kno wasnt rt either because in order to let u leave after medication, u still have to be able to comprehend what’s really goin on without passing out midword! ER would’ve seen THAT red flag,and simply because I’d been so freshly outta invasive back surgery they would’ve called him directly,he said he was pissed,he’d have been real pissed had he seen me I. That condition, couldnt even walk on my own. Yet,it would e been a revolving door and I would’ve within min been wheeled rt back upstairs and tucked nice a comfy into bed with a personal guarantee he’s gonna pay extra attention to my case so shit aont overlooked…Shit damn…So after alla wutevr, I end up rt back down there with him personally waiting for the to cm they er n he needed a quick MRI of where things decided to settle cuz he’d planned me bein in bed 7 days,not freshly having had to ride in a not so smooth truck on the highway hm,the shot they gave me last shouldn’t have done anywhere close to knockin me out for that long that I slept thru rollin around tearing my own shit out or even having it exposed like that,he said he could tell the infection already had a plan n had already planted its horns even as early as the night of surgery…and having Lupus, the immune system so to speak at times especially when angry like nerves extra stimulated simply by stresses in life,when the immune system doesn’t have anything else it’s trying so poorly,or even overreacting in fighting things bad,it’ll feed n fight itself till ur so sick gotta get that outside treatment called strong ass meds,lotsa times when flared up,steroids is the best even the only med with some to bring us back to somethin called “Norm 4 Lupies”,and happy for that m happy ya got at least a LILbitta time on DECK to take in and squeeze in any n everything possible you can possibly do during this open windowcuz with some having chronic pain ,this typa relief comes very rare n is cherished…ANDDDD YET AGAIN,.I GOT ALL CAUGHT UP IN IT,AND how this lonnngggg "comment"lol,if documentary of a 3 inch thick book I’ve written 4 u,like I said stemming from "Underlying causes,issues,reasons,in sm trauma,things that have absolutely 3rd wrld country typa nowhere near ties with a shower,.but,maybe u,I kno me…at those times I’ll somehow wrk it in there because by God wut kinda crazy,lazy,dont care,weird, wanna be dirty,so on typ’a ppl would actually have a phobia so 2 speak of harmless SHOWERS!! I promise u hin,im really not a crazy lady…I just found this app this week and been just getting to kno it and stumbling upon different things medically so to speak somewhat just not socially acceptable to talk about without a single guarantee of bein burned at the stake for doing such odd things,or the shower thing,or lotsa other ticks or embarrassing to the core subjects sm will live with miserably vs the thought of bein judged by someone like your own dr,…Look,idk why outta ALL the posts I went through, had a connect with,I chose u to put off a whole lotta personal things about me as tho ,idk…maybe if u knew kinda in some detail through my experience ya might have an option or similar thought process that could be a piece to my puzzle called life,and my back surgical issues was n is but an extremely traumatic experience in my life,n…idk,maybe I kinda treated it as counseling without ears,.hopefully u will reply to me and my very personal life I’ve shared with YOU for sm reason,.maybe we can help eachother make sm kinda sense of this craziness that ppl like us call our beautiful normal…ok. so sorry if I wasted your time
I have the same problem. You all probably have to find excuses to get something done. Too. it’s not so much doing it that is the problem it’s getting started that’s the battel and stopping. I just never feel good enough to anyone and when someone gives harsh criticism I give the same thing ten times worse to myself. When people complament me I don’t believe them because I hardly ever hear complaments.
Try a birdbath (sponge bath). You font have yo shower to bath you can simply wash your self using a wash cloth and soap
I quit taking showers and baths years ago due to my skin issues and I have never been happier and my skin is better (not cured) bit better because of it.
Hi it be like that at times. I had 2 knee replacements and last year in August had my Achilles’ tendons repaired!!! ( geesh) so I know exactly what you’re talking about! Showering is something so easy to do for others, but it’s a battle ground for us, but we must make it happen Lol one way or the other!!!
Yes I do the same thing. I used to take at least 1 shower a day if not 2, always had makeup on, hair fixed, now just like you said, I disgust myself! I’m embarrassed, but it still doesn’t make me get up and do things I should be doing. I suffer from chronic depression and anxiety, I don’t know if it’s the conditions I have or if it’s the meds I take. I know you were probably looking for some answers, sorry I don’t have any for you. I just wanted you to know your not alone. In fact, most days I don’t leave my room, except to use the bathroom or get something to drink or eat. And I only eat once a day, some days not at all. Good luck & GOD Bless! I hope you find a solution.
I have the same problem but without the excuse of an injury.
If therapy is an option you should really try it. I’ve done counciling off and on for years and it always helps, but you have to give it time. It would also help if we had more mental health available and maybe people wouldn’t have to self medicate. But some people just need to grow as pair and suck it up and like adults!!!
Gosh Smantha, I am 4’8" losing weight by weight lost surgery with osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, and fibromyalgia as well. My knees are bone on bone. My challenge, too, is getting my legs over and getting into the tub to access my seat.
Yesterday I couldn’t do that without a struggle and had to have someone get me out.
I can understand how you all feel. It is just dangerous for you to try to bathe without having someone else there who can help you.
I went through a period of not showering but I clean myself before leaving home which that’s a hard thing for me to do for the longest time. I do not go out only to the grocery store, doctors, or school for the child. I have a child that have adhd, behavior issues and aggression and I have a boy with Autism. It can be a hand full. I rather deal with them than be outside. I just don’t have the energy to open that door to enjoy the sunshine or air. I feel like a lost cause and wasted space sometimes but I hang in there. I don’t feel very happy but I only talk to God in the name of just. I don’t even talk to my best friend of 55 yrs I just don’t want to talk at all sometimes so I don’t answer the phone. Sad but true. I’m doing my best to change and push myself as much as possible I’m a sheltered and vulnerable woman.
I feel the same way good thing I don’t have a man sleeping with me. I try not to in the mornings because I just like a baby what to go back to sleep 😴 so I take it at night so I can sleep 😴 good and wake feeling fresh
If you dont care
“If you cant do it for yourself; then do it for the rest of us” old Jewish mother saying
I would go walking I would come home and take a shower and then at night. Even in the morning I loved my showers. My husband died and that all changed. Who do I need to be clean for. Who cares. I am now taking showers at lease 1 time daily and sometimes 2 a day depending on what I am doing and I think that is because it is summer
I was in a coma for a while and when i woke i had not been able to even move a finger but a nurse taught me avout a product that you really need to wash out for your hair and clean you body without a tub etc…spray and scrub your skin and hair… That might help? I am now able to sit up in bed and clean…i have time i hate even surviving but in the end i fight…so dont think you cant do anything and do what You want…😉
Yes, it’s like being allergic to water.
But you will either you will get to the point you can’t stand it or someone else will say something. You’ll feel better afterwards, we all know that any.
Have you tried dry shampoo or even corn starch powder my roommate uses it when she’s late for work and she’s always late lol
OMG!!! I have the same problem!!! Have u ever tried washing UR hair at a different time than u wash UR body??
That’s the only thing that helps me. Then its not so strenuous. Also i have a shower chair so i can sit in the shower & i installed a removable shower handle (make sure the cord is extra long). This is what i do, i hope it helps u too.