Multiple spirits

Hi everyone. You may know me from some of the other boards. But I’m finally ready willing to share this part of my healing. I’m a 47 year old multi cultural female. I’ve endured abuse in many forms since the age of 5, well I to my adulthood.
2 years ago I moved back to my hometown (health reasons) and began therapy AGAIN… But this time things have been going well. All except for this being my 3rd therapist. (Other 2 had their own medical issues with family idk and ended on extended medical leave)
In the midst of this go round, it was uncovered that I have multiple personas or spirits as some call them. It explains a lot. Especially about time gaps, my memory, and more. But it’s also extremely scary… it seems as though one in particular is in charge most of the time. And yet somehow i still manage to feel as if I’m present. But, I’ve had more switches since I’ve been back home this time. Which my therapist attributes to my sister and my mother living with us. Especially my mom, as our relationship was very estranged, and love lacked…
But, I’ve begun to not feel ashamed of thos anymore and reclaim My life. No longer referring to myself as the alter name. (My profile will change from Kie (alter) to tashua (me)… I’ve told my family, if they feel like it’s not me. To tell whoever’s it is that they’d like to speak to me and not speak to them until they let me come back. As I’ve done this naturally the voices inside are getting louder and more negative…
Has anyone successfully moved beyond having an alter? How did u do it?
Please no negative judgements. If you don’t believe or have negativity to spread. Please just scroll.
Thank you…

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I know that probably took a lot to share all of that. I would like to thank you. I have dealt with mental health with my son for more than 10 years. There are triggers especially when there has been trauma. It sounds like you have gone through trauma most of your life. I have been told by people close to me that have been molested as children, that’s the only way they could get through it was to pretend they were someone else or not present at the time. I wonder if that has something to do with you. The only thing I can think of to get rid of negative spirits is Jesus. I don’t know if you believe or not, but Jesus does heal negative spirits. My prayers and thoughts are with you and I would like to have you post updates if you will. I don’t think I have seen anybody judge another for writing how they feel on this platform. It is a safe place to talk. Have a blessed day my friend.

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I have DID, NOS (or multiple personality disorder as most people know it). The journey you are on is long and difficult to be sure. But, assimilation can be attained. When this happens you still have all of your alters but they are no longer fragmented (which is what causes lost time). The ultimate goal of therapy is co-consciousness of all alters with one another. I have been on this journey many years and it is alot of work that is very much worth it! I hope that you continue your healing journey. I will do my best to be a resource for you as people were there for me on my journey.

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Thank you. Yes. I have brought to the attention of my church and will be going through the process of of deliverance to help with this. Thank you and I pray for your son as well. It’s been revealed to me that my son was also molested at a very young age. But he didnt tell me. At that age he probably didnt understand. It was his 1at sleep over.

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Thanks. I e just begun this journey. I do CPT and it’s a bit more difficult because she said they usually deal with people with 1 or 2 events. But mine are multiple by multiple people from sexual to physical to mental. But, it’s a start.
Luckily, I have a husband who though is new to this kind of stuff is working with me through it.

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You are what will turn out to be an amazing journey. I wish you all the best on your journey. It will be difficult, to tell you true, but the ultimate rewards do outweigh the discomfort that is to come. During the process one often wonders why am I doing this, but once you get through it you can look back and see the progress. I urge you to hang in there!!! Sending you prayers and best wishes.

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Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I really appreciate

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I find that most therapists and people have a real difficult time addressing anyone who has any kind of sex issues, whether mental or physical. Most people think the subject is taboo

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That is definitely a consideration when choosing to share one’s abuse history. I have found that asking a potential therapist blunt and direct questions about where they stand on the issues to be helpful. I have even written down the questions I have beforehand so that I don’t get sidetracked. As for the general population, I am a very private person and haven’t found the need to share with many people, so my experiences are limited. When I do think that my history is something I will share, I simply ask questions about current abuse cases and see where a person stands. Usually, the topic comes up by itself and I know if it is safe to share with someone.

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That’s definitely true

That’s a good idea.

You are a strong woman. Facing some things can be very hard, but unless we face our problems we can never get away from them. Letting someone else know about our problems gives us strength when that person or persons reach out if only to say they hear you, they may not understand your situation. but just the moral support makes you stronger and gives you hope that you will find what you’re liking for be it cure or acceptance of who you are. I haven’t been where you are, and I don’t understand what you are going through but i do hear the anguish in you voice. I can’t tell you to handle your situation but I can tell you, you are stronger than you know. You are also very brave. Believe this, and know that the answer is inside you and you will find the answer. Blessings to you and your loved ones.

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Ravenn I appreciate your kind words… really I do. Trust is such a hard thing for me and facing my past is terrifying. Though Ive broke curse my father spoke to me as a teen… it still sucks to distrust so automatically.
Especially when going through things and really needing someone to lean on.
I wish I felt as strong as u think I am. But I keep praying I feel it some way.

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You will because you are. We all have more strength in us that we aren’t aware exist. Keep praying and remember God helps those whom help themselves. I believe in you, now you just have to believe in you.
Keep in touch ❤️🏐

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Thank you. I will keep updating.

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Ok. I’ll be waiting to hear. 🙂

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Sex is. Just another part of being human and can be wonderful if it’s the right time, place and most important, the right person. But when it is a traumatic situation it can be hell for a very long time until you can put it behind you and know it wasn’t your fault. Only then can you move on. You can do it, but it’s not easy. The is not to give up, your worth it and you are not your past,you are your future and your future begins with today.

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I think the mental is the hardest because it is ever changing. Bodily is easier to diagnose but that don’t keep it from leaving an indellable memory deep in your mind which in its own way can cause mental or emotional problems. The good thing is both can be dealt with and usually be to where you can live a fairly normal life, if a person gets proper. help and keep up their meds (if they have any) and not go off of them just because they feel better. It’s more than likely the meds that are helping you the same thing goes for therapy. If you need it, you will probably need it for sometime after you Think you’re Well.

Having multiple personality disorder is difficult to live with. First thing u need to do is put boundaries on the alters and get control of them and make sure they understand that you are in charge of them. This is very hard to do but with time and therapy you will be able to get and maintain control. It took me close to 2 years to gain control. Learn who each of them is and find out what personality they represent. When you gain that knowledge you will be able to gain control. I have a little girl, a woman, a drill sergeant, a very dominant man, and a very submissive perverted gay man. I’m a 47 year old man and I’m glad I got control and the only time they switch is depending on the situation and if I let them. Don’t get me wrong, there are still times where when I get overwhelmed they come out on their own. It’s a long learning process and no1 is perfect. There will be lots of ups and downs. Just stick with therapy and work with your doctor on medication that will help you get and maintain control.

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I hate the terminology “get over it” because one never gets over sexual abuse. I’m sure you meant no harm by those words but many people who have been through trauma are told to get over it. It wasnt your fault. It was years ago and the like. I had a pastor tell me all of those things at once. It crushed me and had me thinking that there was something wrong g with me that I couldn’t get beyond it.
It’s way more than just knowing it wasnt your fault. PTSD comes in many forms and unfortunately one can do good seemingly be over it and suddenly someone will day something, you’ll hear a sound, a smell and boom you’re right back in the middle of it. That is the part too many people do not understand. I’m not saying that you do not. I just wanted to mention those words can be (for me they are) a trigger to some.
Thanks for your time