Moderate Dementia & Relationship Advice

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone is also suffering from memory loss and how they make their relationship work. My husband gets so frustrated and belittles me that I can’t remember things or conversations we’ve just had. I was diagnosed Monday after several neuropsychological testing. He is the only support I have but not being supportive. I’m thinking about having the conversation that I need him to move on if he doesn’t want to go through this with me and if he wants to stay than I need him to be compassionate and understanding of our new life. He rarely speaks to me anymore. He lashes out at me for repeating myself and having so many dr appointments. So I’ve shut him out and don’t discuss my feelings or how things are going after dr visits. I love him and would like him to stay but I feel guilty that I’m robbing him of a normal life .Any advice is appreciated.

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If you feel like he’s stealing your joy then he’s not worth having there. If all your feeling from him is anger then have that talk and see just what it is he is feeling. Could be he wants to help but don’t know how or he want to leave and don’t want to feel guilty you never know til you ask. Either way the stress your in right now is making you worse believe it or not.

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I do with my youngest sister whom I stay with as well as others. They don’t call me they call her. I a type II diabetic but she thinks I had a nervous break down. Now mine you I have all the paperwork been in the hospital for it and she still in
denial My strokes have me studering
I just try to make the best of life because God is in control. We do have our issues and talk the wrong way to each other but I’ve come to realize that I can’t please everybody not even God. He have own the straight and narrow as much as I give in. I do trust him more than I do man. If I had a thousand or more tongues I can’t him enough. It doesn’t matter what he thinks nor feel it’s all about you and God your husband is your husband but God is your husband before your husband came alone. Take it from me I’ve been married twice and paid for my divorces and I don’t regret any of it just made me a stronger woman. I pray in Jesus name that he comes around cause he fail to realize his day is around the corner. We weren’t born perfect but God but God. This just a test for you.

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I am dealing with memory loss I lost 3 years and I have slipped down the stairs when I had a seizure and I’ve been dealing with it and is very confusing really makes me upset that I’m just going to have to take one day at a time praying whole car to get better for me

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I suggest having that conversation with him but also asking him to try to get to the root of his anger. Is he already mourning you? Maybe he feels helpless and that makes him angry. Maybe he’s just waiting for you to open up to him.
By no means am I trying to justify his behavior towards you, but if the relationship means that much to you, it’s worth finding out if there’s a reason for the way he’s treating you.
Take care of yourself. Sometimes you need to be your own advocate. Unnecessary additional stress can aggravate your condition, so if he’s making it worse, something needs to change.
Keep journals and keep track of what you discuss with him (and with your doctors). Use voice memos, too. There are lots of good free journaling apps that will make it easier to stay on top of it. I recommend Journey. It has mobile, web, and desktop versions. You can add tags and photos, too.
I hope this helps.

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I’m so sorry you are going through this and with your marriage.Your husband is upset because he doesn’t understand what is going on with you. My mother’s Doctor told her she has dementia . Before we knew what was going on with her. We were upset and flustrated too. She would ask the same question over and over. We would, get up set and she would too. But we have come to realize it about us it’s about her. We are patient with her now that we know more.
You don’t have a good flow of blood or oxygen to the brain. No smoking take Omger 3. It helps with blood flow. I have asked to be tested for Alzheimer. Medical field is more advanced with this disease now. My mother diagnose in the 90s… It’s time to put you feeling first and most of all your health. Pray Love! God is in control…

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I hate to hear of your troubles. I would suggest couples counseling. From the sounds of it, you both could use education and support.

Thank you all for your advice. It’s nice to know that we can share our stories and get diverse points of view. I think my first step is to take a step back and try to see it from his perspective again. Maybe I can’t understand just how he feels as well as he not able to understand my feelings. It’s a work in progress accepting new roles and trying to figure things out. Only time will tell and improved communication. Thanks again!

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hi, i am new to relationships and i haven’t gone through this with my boyfriend but my parents go through this a lot. my grandmother had dementia and i’ve noticed that my mother is starting to lose her memory as well. my father always gets upset and lashes out at my mother when she doesn’t remember things. my father is an alcoholic so the arguments between them are worse when he is drunk. it’s hard to see two people, who are supposed to love and support each other, fight and argue. like i said before i am new to relationships but i do think you should talk to your husband and be completely honest about how you feel if you haven’t already. if he is not going to be there for you and support you and just lash out at you then you shouldn’t keep that negativity around you. much love take care <3