Hello my name is Paul Luther and I am 59, diagnosed with Bipolar, Anxiety and PTSD. I am also a chronic pain patient, with osteoarthritis and constant pain from spinal injuries. I am also an alcoholic and struggling with my sobriety and mobility issues. I am am looking forward to making some friends and making a contribution to the community.
It’s nice to meet you and I can relate to the constant pain. But look at it this way, you’re sober and strong and haven’t had a drink this long, you can make it further. If you have to take it hour by hour seeing those minutes pass by that you remain strong in your sobriety. And I hope you remain sober because I know just how hard that can be to do. Really all drinking is doing is closing your eyes to what’s going on and walking through life blind. It’s just adding one more problem to the already complicated life most people lead. Don’t get me wrong though I know why you want to, I just hope you know why you shouldn’t is far more important for you. And that you stay strong in your fight. Good luck.
Thank you for the wise words. It’s as important for me to maintain my sobriety as it is to aggressively treat my mental illness issues. You are right that drinking, or any addictive behavior is just a way to avoid dealing with the pain
Hi Paul, I to have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression and have physical issues. I have osteoarthritis in my whole back, plus I have spinal stenosis and degenerative disc disease and carpal tunnel in both hands.
You are well acquainted with the challenges of dealing with multiple diagnoses. I appreciate the message and I am looking forward to sharing information that can be of assistance to all of us.
I understand. They say people don’t get it until they walk in your shoes. I too have bipolar, ptsd, fibromyalgia, arthritis in my neck. The list is too long😢 Everyday seems to be a struggle. Have u attended any AA meetings? It might seem stupid right? I gave NA a try when I was going to lose everything. It was very hard at first and took a bit to find a group but I did. I went everyday for a yr and it saved me. I never did the workbook, 12 step, get a sponsor etc. I listened and before I knew it I was off. I have not touched a narcotic since. Its really a shame now because I know I cant have anything for my pain or I might relapse. I do drink wine in the evening. 1-2 glasses. I have to really watch it though. I also have a medical marijuana card. I don’t really like to smoke but sometimes I just need to. (I quit smoking cigarettes about 5 yrs ago) Now, believe it or not, I cant stand the smell and cant believe I did that. At least w/pot u feel something.
Well, everyday is a new day right? One foot in front of the other. Today is a high pain day and i feel like crap! Terrible! I have to keep going and might have to fake a bit. I have appointments for my kids today (2 boys 13 and 17) My younger one has a lot if mental issues too. Bipolar, ADHD, Oppositional defiant disorder. Boy its been a real struggle. He is soooo needy. Every second every day. I love him, he’s funny, lovable, cuddly etc. When Im seriously going thru one of my depressive days he can always make me smile in some way. I cant work due to my fibro fog, pain, depression etc. I am going to try for SSD. I just cant seem to get going on it. Its like I know I need to get going on it and something gets in my way so I procrastinate. I hate it. On top of all of this I think I have Sjogren’s and POTS. My blood pressure is really crazy. U know, I thought what else? Well bam, my blood glucose levels r high! What? Im thin (too thin, suddenly lost about 15 lbs in a matter of months!!! No idea?) Im trying to gain but every morning I step on the scale and it hasn’t moved. Im scared!
I really just wanted to reach out to u because we have so much in common. Paul, stay strong for "u’ ok? U r not alone in this. Sometimes I feel guilty for my health but have realized that I never asked for any of this!!! Rest when u need to and try to find something u r grateful for. The weather, anything. Keep up the good work of opening up. Its a step right?
Take care of yourself.
P.S. Im grateful for ur post today. Im grateful for my kids being quiet. Im grateful for my TV, my dog, my husband. Sometimes, just being grateful for small things helps the day seem a bit brighter😎😉
I occasionally hit up AA but it’s difficult because I don’t have a vehicle and I am shopping for one from home. I don’t know how you are doing it taking care of two kids and a husband. I have a hard enough time dealing with my grown daughter and grandson on the phone each weekend. She’s schizophrenic and a recovering addict. I did do better when my wife was alive, she had MS, and I do better taking care of someone else than just me. I am grateful for my dog Huckleberry he’s my little buddy. I am getting both my knees and hip replaced and possible spinal surgery so I definitely have things to look forward to. Thanks for talking with me and I hope to hear from you again. Hold that wonderful family close.
Please don’t underestimate the powerful after effects and current pain of grief! You mentioned the loss of your wife. Its devastating. Much of what you are experiencing could be related to or a by product of grief. Even years after. Please make that a top priority. ☺ 💝 I’m rooting for you!
Laura, you were talking about trying to get SSD. Well I had an attorney do all the paperwork and stuff for me and I had it with in a few months. I don’t know what state you live in but I know in Florida the best lawyer is Morgan & Morgan. But you deserve it with all the issues you have and you need the assistance that comes with it. If I can be of any assistance or help I’m here. Just don’t give up.
Born this way. Had severe Epilepsy which I outgrew at 24. Now 66. At 29 mental illness like buckets of fear came on me. Still can’t work. Anxiety reactions and panic attacks, but at a far lesser intensity. Stops me though until over with.
Just wanted to check up on u Huckleberry? That is so cute!!! Im glad u have ur buddy🤗
I just wanted to say how I handle family. I suck at it. I’m a good mom and do what I can. My husband is verbally abusive. I need to find out what else is going on w/me. My cardiologist gave me steroids to raise my BP!, OMG, my blood pressure is the best!!! The steroids r for treating Addison’s disease. I never said anything about that. I wanted to check j for pots and to figure it out w out having a 'tilt"test. Well its 1,000 so i wanted to see if there was another way. The ass gave me steroids. Ugh!! I will do my follow up w/ him but that is probably the last time. My husband told me to go to my PCP. I said why i cant get anymore referrals except a endocrinologist. So, i saw him. He told me i should followup w/ my cardio…and then… He told me i should see a cancer doctor but would not give me a referral. What? I never mentioned cancer just weight loss. In the end he gave me a referral for endo just to get me to stop crying and to get out fast. I hate him! He would not even give me a lab order for regular blood test. I just cant believe it. So im sick. Weighed 97 1 pounds today. I used to weigh 116! He asked me if i eat. Omg really? No support. Don’t know what to do.? Natural path? Im so fkg pissed and am giving up on doctors i will go see the endo that i find. Im just constantly crying. I dont need this!!!
Sorry fo venting. I really was just checking on u😉
Hey there you’re not alone. I too have ptsd, chronic pain and anxiety. I’m hoping you have a good sponsor. Love the sharing we get to do here. Hugs
Thank u for the encouraging words. Still haven’t done it. My ADHD among ofbera makes me crazy and not follow thru. I’m trying. I keep telling myself if I can just clean and organize my house (like I used to) I will make all my calls and feel less cluttered.