How do you feel about abusive relationships? I’ve been in one for a long time. I have a child with this man… all my family is in another state. Sometimes things are wonderful. Other times, things can become violent, mentally/ verbally abusive my self-esteem has lowered and I have no friends. Unable to work. Anxiety is a daily problem. He’s caused me to become completely dependent on him for everything. I admit as bad as it sounds the internet is an escape for me. Sometimes it seems obvious I should leave but where to? And how? Would life even be better on the other side? Sometimes I doubt my own abilities and instincts Due to psychological manipulation over 15 years. I would have zero income and no car if I left. I do love him. But I’m afraid things could become alot worse. Any advice?
I wish I could give you a hug right now. You need to lookout for yourself and your child. There are places to reach out to. I understand the anxiety all too well.
You need to look out for your and your child’s safety!!! I know it seems like you have no where to turn, but there are places to help women in situations like yours. You wouldn’t be alone and with nothing. I would search for a place in your area while you are on the internet - just do it safely.
Been there done that. It sounded like you were writing my life’s story. My ex was in the Coast Guard. We were married for 21 & 1/2 years. It was hard. I believed the same thing about myself. Where would I go? How could I make it in my own? He literally be my self esteem out of me. All I can tell you is GET OUT! Do whatever it takes to get away. If you have to get a restraining order out on him. Go to a shelter if you have to. But a bus ticket and go back to family. Believe me it’s better that way. Skeeping a child in that situation is doing as much damage to the child as it is to you… Even if he never lays a hand on the child. Take it from my experience, GET OUT!
I would talk to your family. Wherever they are. If you have sister(s), they know. If you have parents /mother. She knows.
Explain in your own words what’s going on.
I agree with the other writer. Get out.
Things will not get better.
I tell my daughters. Men will do what you allow them to get away with in the early relationships.
Don’t be afraid to start over. It will be better then the alternative. Which we all know.
OMG Candy. We’re in the same boat only difference is that it’s my son whose the abuser. He lives with me but doesn’t want to help with the bills. I. Only have my disability Check andi he works and makes that much in one week. When I ask him to help, I’m called an m.f. and a loser. My self-esteem is shot and like you, I see no way out. No car because he pawned the title to it and didn’t pay or even tell me so I could. I’m basically confined to the house alone 24/7. Don’t know how much more I can take. Maybe we can support one another. I wish you all the best and I’m praying for you.
I have no where to go. Some days are fine. Other days, I have been slapped in the face and told It never happened, that I was just crazy Bi- polar and making it up. I got a screwdriver thrown at my head one time and it put a hole in the wall beside my head. Unfortunately, that was my parents home. It’s my son’s father. I have a love for him . But I know something isn’t right deep down. My family are in Tampa. I can’t call them . I’m too ashamed…I can’t rely on them for support.
I’m here…same. I’m currently waiting on a disability approval. I’m isolated from all of my family and It’s sad. I feel I can’t do anything without him. Gotta get that out of my head. I’m home each day. Luckily, with my son. He brings me joy… where are you from?
How did you eventually get out?
I live in Macon., Ga. I haven’t gotten
out of here yet and don’t know how I will.
but I’m not gonna give up. Text me sometime at 478-538-6697. I love Tennessee. Wish I could move. there.
I know where you’re coming from I was in the same situation for 4 years it was very hard to leave the man I loved but the abuse was too much to the point where he made me believe that I was worthless no good. Mental abuse and emotional abuse is worse when you have no one to turn to but if you fight it you can overcome it turn to God give your worries to him. I believe any woman is strong enough to overcome these obstacles because that’s what he is an obstacle myself being a victim violent domestic violence I was able to fight through it I got tired of being bullied and tired of being beaten so I fought back I understand you have children with this man I didn’t which made it easier for me to fight in the end it took me four years to get away from him and when I did I was able to find myself and I believe in my heart that you can although it’s been 15 years that you have endured this I believe in my heart that you are a strong woman and God will give you that strength but you have to fight and fight hard. It will be hard in the beginning but it will also get better you can become an independent woman you just have to fight for it and know your worth I pray that you open your eyes and see that you have the strength deep in your heart and the fight in your heart to overcome this I will lift you up in prayer with your children and ask for a hedge of protection over you and your children God bless you
Thanks…I’m in North west Ga. 1 hr away from Chattanooga TN. I was literally passing through Macon this past weekend.
I’d have to agree; GET OUT & GO BACK HOME!!!
I was also in same situation 35 yrs ago. I left when i had my daughter who is now 36yrs, I would keep a Bart by the door waiting to use it on him but i knew if i got him i better make sure out was out for good due to repercussions from him, but i didn’t want my daughter raised by other family folks pour strangers so she was 1yrs old wen i left for good. I took only 5yrs of abuse, but 5 looong terrible yrs of physical & mental abuse. B4 daughter came. I pray you get out, trully i do, you never know whenout may turn on your child, come teen yrs; dates ext…& b4 your child sees you dead!!
Its not good for your child either to see his/her mother getting abused in any way. It will just get worse. It will be tuff in beginning tho start over but in theend you both will be 100% happier. Their are places that will help you. What about family?, go to them for help. I’m sure they want you out of that relationship.
Good Bless the both of you!!
Your in my prayers for strenghth & courage.
Now get out!!!.
You need to get up and leave go to a woman shelter an start from there they will definitely be able to help you out with your situation,the hell with everything else think about your well-being.Before it’s to late he knows exactly what he’s doing considering you don’t have no support from your family close to you . I’m really praying for you.
You to Viki you must make a decision now get up and leave also try getting some assistance through housing program for yourself
You have to go to a shelter they will help you
My ex did never hit me but he verbally abused me and had one affair after the other. One time he had an affair with my best friend. We had two children. I was an immigrant so my family was overseas. I saw a counselor and she said something that stuck with me. She said I had two choices. One; I could live with it and be reasonable happy. Two; I could get out because I would never change him. The pattern had been set. I got out, got a job and I made it. Nobody has to be so unhappy to contemplate suicide. It’s ok to say that you love him. But does he love you? No, he does not or he would not abuse you. I live in West Central Georgia. My second husband died two years ago. I miss him and he was a really good man. We were together 25 years. I moved to be close to my daughter. I have made friends and life is good. Take care of yourself and please see if your family can help. Call them and confide in them. Or at least see if he will go to counseling with you. See if a church in your area has the program Chain Breakers. Maybe he is willing to go with you.
It doesn’t work that easy. Wish it did. I dont have a car or any income.