I’m 43 years old now and I am feeling like my life is a broken record, like I am falling in the same hole over and over again. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, Schitzoaffective Disorder, Severe Depression and PTSD back in 2002. I’ve been abused all my life physically, emotionally, and mentally. I know how I’m feeling and thinking about but I’m constantly being told that I don’t see how I am really acting or reacting towards anyone and I’m just crazy. The way I see it the people telling me this I believe that they are the ones with the mental problems. But because I was diagnosed and literally labeled with psychological disorders that is making me question myself if I’m not really seeing my behaviors or emotions.
I’m thinking maybe the only way to really find out is to get rid of these negative influences in my life and go on my own because that is the only way I think I could really see it in myself. I’ve been manipulated my whole life and I believe this is really part of the reason why. Is anyone else going through this? Do you have any advice?