I believe my husband is experiencing caregiver burnout. He’s always been grumpy but now it seems that we can hardly go a day without fighting. I’ve suggested joining a support group but he refuses. I don’t know what to do at this point. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
You can go to support group on your own. I’ve seen mom get so “at the end of her rope”. But it only last a few minutes. She gets straight again. She has help too… he could probably get some kinda help in there so some tasks are made more easy. Then your times together can be easier,emotionally.
Have you tried to get a different care giver? That might help him out.
I will definitely try this approach. Thank you ❣❣
My husband doesn’t work so the state will not provide any assistance. Our son lives in Ohio and our daughter is raising two young children so she has her hands full already.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find some way to just hang in there and keep your chin up. Mom takes great care of dad and he is always apologizing to her. And to me too. We ALWAYS remind him that it’s a blessing a privalege. And. An honor for us to be able to. But sometimes the bad days are soooo bad that only God gives us strength to even make it to the next minute till the day is done . And we falter and feel we failed. So guess what? Life does go on… Till it doesn’t so we do better next day. We just do. Good days are treasured and even bad ones too. So if he has some burn out and that does happen just please try and count your blessings starting with him. So many people have no one. You have him. Blessings right there. Right?
I understand caregiver burnout!! He may not even realize he is grumpyer.
I know it is hard from both sides …
I try to not be demanding with my husband and daughter when I have used up all my energies for the day (I have hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, fibromyalgia, asthma, and an intractable migraine that make my days rough).
Then, with my parents I try not to be overly sensitive when they take things out on me. It has been really hard sometimes because I have always been a workaholic (so I am the one who took care of everyone / everything else), and my only sibling (older sister) was killed in a car accident two years ago (so I now have the sole responsibility of my parents, and they trusted my sister more than me!)
Just hang in there and if you can do some of the things others suggested here, try them. Not everything works the same for everyone, but hopefully you can find some relief to the strain so you can enjoy each other’s company again.
I think you are Talking about ME!! I would love know too!!
I was apologizing all the time as well. It wasn’t until my sister was here that she said that I was saying sorry all the time. Now I try to say thank you when I can instead. Although I find that I say that too often sometimes as well. Now I do it when I ask for something only.
My husband is a blessing. I knew a woman whose husband stuck around for 9 years then divorced her. He said that he was tired of keeping his life on hold. We have been married for 34 years now and neither one of us wants to end our relationship. It’s been 6 years since my accident that paralyzed me, however, he wasn’t my caregiver until he stopped working a few years ago. I understand what you are saying. He is a blessing that I’m grateful for.
I am going to try the support group first. I will post later to let you know how it goes.
I did so much for my family before. Only problem is that I never look sick and some days are really hard. I was still expected to function as I did then. I survived breast cancer 9 years ago and it was the same thing. The only way I even looked ill was when I lost all of my hair. My husband doesn’t like to share his feelings. He was upset that I was posting on this site. Sucks to be him right now. I need a way to get a handle on things. We also have a bad case of the used to. We used to do things together that I can’t get him to participate in anymore. He is usually a good communicator with me so I think we’ll get through this as well. Thank you for your support.
You are welcome. I do not always look like I am not feeling well either so I understand.
Communication is a big piece - my husband and I communicate pretty well most of the time, but some days we miss this piece almost entirely!! Lol We are human so we are imperfect, and don’t pretend to get it right all the time. We don’t stop trying and to us that has been key to caregiving for each other and our parents.
I know the hardest part of being a caregiver is realizing you need help too and allowing the help. I personally choice to go on antidepressants until I can find time to talk with a therapist. There isn’t much free time in our lives right now.
I wish the best for you and hopefully he can find something to recharge himself.
I already take Lyrica for nerve pain. This medication also treats depression. If I wasn’t already taking something I think I would have lost it awhile ago. I take so many pills now that I don’t want to add another one. I haven’t looked for a support group yet since I am leaving soon for an extended trip. I think just being with family will help both of us tremendously.
Support groups are so important, and there’s your friends, talk about it. My husband was bitter with his illness. It wasn’t until he was hospitalized that he begin to understand his illness and started to get better. Taking care of him in that state of mind started to drained me mentally, but I gained better time management which allowed me time to focus on me.
I have just returned from my trip and will now start looking for a support group. We have a social worker at work so I’ll start with her.
It runs a role an family members to be one a caregiver for a close loved one. I’ve been blessed that god have me the hear to help others if anyone need a caregiver In north DFW I’m available when a family member need a break !!
Too bad you’re in Texas, otherwise I’d use your services.
I wish you were in Longview or real close to it. But if you know any services for Texas, I’m trying through the VA, we’re waiting. Dad just doesn’t get I need a break, v but I’ve had 3 major surgeries myself in the last year with no time to heal and recover.