Care of parent

Hi I am 57
I care for my mom she is 75
She has stage 4 colon cancer
I took care of her for a year.then I had surgery to repair disk in my neck. My sister in law was supposed to be taking care of mom since I couldn’t anymore.
Well that didn’t work out.so I had to move mom in with me again
But she is doing better.she is walking short distance now.
But I am again her care giver
It’s hard…there are times I just need to rest…but I can’t cause I have to cook and do laundry for mom.
I’m doing my best but it takes a toll on me…
It helps to have a place to just let it out sometimes…
Thanks

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I am caring for my mother who has dementia. I’m in my mid 50s and she lives with me. I retired to have more time to care for her. Everytime I get overwhelmed, I try to focus on the blessing of still having her and being able to take care of her.
Needless to say, I am busier than ever and it is stressful, tiring, funny, and a blessing. Hang in there and, as I am learning to do, take care of yourself. Just like flying, you cannot help someone else unless you put your oxygen mask on first.

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If you go to the AARP website and search “caregivers”, you will see articles on resources for caregivers, answers, apps and tools, etc. You might have to join AARP, but it only costs $12 a year! You can also look into hiring a caregiver. Good luck!

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Hi I’m a single mom of 3 one teenager and two young ones. On top of that taking care of my mom with dementia. How do u deal with the stress when get overwhelmed.

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First of all, take care of yourself. It’s okay and recommended that you ask for help and try to get at least a weekend off a month to focus on just you.
During the really stressful times I sometimes put myself in timeout so I can calm myself down. I find ways to relax. Exercise is highly recommended because it refocuses your attention and gets things flowing for you. It is like a battle and blessing at the same time.
I love laughter so laugh therapy is always recommended during the stressful times. I even use it for my mom because it refocuses her attention and has worked to calm her when she was upset and frazzled. The reality is there’s no quick fix. Know what calms you and make sure you take that option as often as necessary to take care of you.
Are you working too?

No take care of my mom and two kids on disability

Try to work out respite care for them to give you a break. I also find prayer helps as well as journaling. We can also keep in touch. Writing your feelings down helps and you should consider counseling too. Many caregivers seek professional counseling and/or support groups.
Know I’m here for you too because I know it’s overwhelming.

Do you have a church you can call on for help. Is your mom under hospice. My mom was for a year and half. They were great help. They sent in cna I t was two or three days a week. A lady came for two hours a week for me to do what ever this was nearly thirty years ago.

You can do it.I bet your mom felt the same way when she had you seek from friends if you can I got two hours off from hospice volunteers that was grocery shopping time or to take a nap if needed lunch with friends.

I helped my friend when needed. One thing she loved was going for a ride in the car. I would get it to sing in the car. I did Christmas songs like Jingle Bells I would put her kind of music on and convince her to dance. Watch their eyes that will tell you. As hard as it is laugh they can pickup moods from you. I baby sat for awhole week while my friend took respite we filled brown lunch bags with a surprise maybe a stuff toy. A children book you read to her. Her favorite candy etc I would tell her it was from her daughter. Again watch her eyes. Take her for walks being cooped up is hard for anyone.

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Your message is so true laughter is the best medicine

How are you? Just checking in since it’s been a while since I saw a post from you. One of the replies down the chain asked about Hospice. Have you checked on them assisting you? Take care and I am praying for you.

@Tambo, my last checking post was to you.

Hi my name is Neyata I have been working as a cna/ Caregiver for 2 years. I expect to make my patients’ lives easier and more comfortable. Im caring and compassionate. I work with a variety of patients in the local area. I am responsible for accompanying patients to local doctor’s appointments, assisting patients with personal care and health monitoring and helping to maintain a clean home environment for each patient. I maintain accurate and updated records on each of my patients. I transport patients to doctor’s appointments, making beds, doing laundry, preparing meals, giving patients their medications, light cleaning or running errands, maintain sanitary conditions in the home environment.
For more information please go look at my website Neyatacares.info

Oh hello
I just mainly read the post.
Mom is getting worse I think she may have bladder cancer now…she has really lost weight…
When she started this she was 220…she is down to 163 now…
My sis is here for now helping…I need surgery on torn tendon.
So either sis will have to stay or mom will have to go to nursing home till I heal from surgery…
Thanks for checking 😊
Hope u are doing ok.

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@Tambo, you have a full plate. Make sure you get your surgery done to repair your tendon. Your mom will be in good hands while you recover. You’ll make sure of that. Smile! Remember you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before someone else. That philosophy reminds us as caregivers that we cannot care for others when we’re not well. I will be lifting you and your family in prayer. Feel free to reach out again. I’m on here logging info pretty often so I’ll see message notifications. Take care of you!

Find a support group you can join. Then see if you can find a sitter so you can get out every now and again. Check with your church and hospital to see what resources they have that can help you out.