Anyone else care for a disabled spouse?

My wife had blood clots in her lungs Nov of 2009. Started us down a long road with more to come . She has a hospital bed af home she is in all the time. Get up for a shower or to use the bathroom and back to bed. I work full time and then come home to work even more. End up feeling more of the caretaker and room mate for many years now. I am 51 and feel 61 a lot of the time. Anyone else have a spouse you are a caretaker for?

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I am too. But lot older than you. And been caretaking a lot less long. Can imagine you are pretty tired and a tad resentful by now? We are all human after all.
How do you recharge your batteries and give yourself encouragement to keep going??
Cheers, Lindsay

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Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Who are you caretaking and why?..

I am an avid concert person. Love live music. I go as often as I can. I love to take pictures and share them. My Facebook and Instagram are full of the pictures. Also at home our 4 fur babies are great for companionship.

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That sounds like a great combo. Both nurture the soul I think : )
We travel a lot so no pets. Sure do miss having a pooch. If my husbands stroke stops us being snow birds I think I will get a pup. Fun to have around. Would lift the moods. And great exercise buddies.
And love live music. We went to Rufus Wainwright’s concert last year. This year little fun or R&R sadly. Need to make the time for more…

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Here we have a lot of free shows so a lot is just my parking and anything I may want to drink. Anyone on Instagram look for txzebrafan and that is me. Lots of concert shots and our babies.

I am also a caretaker for my wife for the last 4 years or so. I am 41 and she is 53 and had had 2 strokes, many mini ones and suffers from seizures and overweight problems now that she cannot move around easily. It is frustrating at times, but I love her deeply and the connection we have is just as deep. The hardest part is dealing with her depression about her condition. I have always had a positive outlook on life, but it’s hard to relay that onto another person going through so much. Having our Pitbull in our lives enriches it soo much that it is being words. I urge anyone going through the same to get a puppy to help with the down times, she always brings out moods up.

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2 of our 4 Lacee on the left is 13 and Teddy on the right is the baby. He is not quite 2. Nothing like fur baby love .

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I take care of my spouse who has a myriad of problem—spinal stenosis, heart problems, prostrate cancer(recovering), PTSD, etc. it is a full-time job, mentally and physically draining, but, we committed to the good and bad, sickness and health so we do what we do. I had to retire from my job to take care of him. I am basically confined to home because his conditions often prevent him from traveling which I love to do. I often feel like life is passing me by, and ask the question “why?” My spirituality is what keeps me grounded one day at a time. It’s grueling, but it’s worth it. Hang in there.

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I agree. Its hard being the positive person for a recovering spouce.
My hubby has always been a bit negative. He says he looks at the neg side of issues so he’s prepared ‘in case things go south’!! Funnily enough prior to his heart surgery he was very positive he would breeze through. But towards the end of his - what ended up being - 5 bypass surgery, he had a stroke. So now a lot more to recover from. Doing really well physically. Heart all healed. We’re both working daily on physio and cardio rehab recovery. BUT emotionally I feel as though I have to be his cheerleader and motivation. And after only four months feeling worn out and not so PollyAnna myself some days!!!

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Pluto…you sound really grounded and great : )
I too have stopped working on my business since the stroke. And we had planned to start travelling more this year.
I too feel like my life has been put on hold. I’m taking care of everything now in our somewhat complicated lives…plus taking care of D takes up all my time and emotional bandwidth and then some. Don’t want to get resentful tho! And know he would do the same for me if the chips had fallen differently!

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Although my husband is more mobile and motivated, I am in a similar situation.

I recently started maid service to do the deep cleaning and I use a few different grocery delivery services so I don’t have to grocery shop as much.

Some agencies help with caring for disabled people while you work. Maybe her doctor’s office can recommend someone or an agency.

I wish you well!

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Same thing here my beliefs are a large part of how I can keep going.

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Sorry. Didn’t see your reply ages ago. Thxs.
My husband is doing a bit better these days. Putting back some of the lost weight and and more stamina so able to walk further each week.
Had a young girl helping with cleaning alternate weeks but she got a full time job!!! A cleaning service is what I need. Will check it out : )

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I work fulltime as a nurse and then take care of my husband who is bedridden. Every flu season is scary and now we have the coronavirus. I am nervous of anyone who sits with him when I’m at work. He needs to drink a lot of fluids to keep from getting a brain fog(He has Parkinson’s symptoms from a brain tumor). He needs daily exercises of his head, neck, arms and legs. I work nightshift; so this is hard to stay on top of. If you can; get someone to sit with your family member; so you can get out. Try to keep your family member as independent as safely possible. Keep a detailed list of schedule of meds, activites and favorite TV programs for sitters. Make(or order) special meals for special dates like holidays and birthdays. Friendship meals or meals on wheels help in getting nutritious food.

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